Potty Training

An Honest Reflection of the First Month of Potty Training

It's as if a new side of my son's personality was unlocked by potty training, and to be honest it almost broke me. To say the first couple of days were rough would be the understatement of the year. Looking back, I think a big part of the problem was that I started us off on the wrong foot. You know that I'm a researcher, but no matter how much I read I felt like potty training was going to fail, epically. This feeling mainly came from the message that boys are harder to potty train than girls. 

So, I broke down the things I read into some "manageable" pieces (I say manageable in quotes because this milestone felt far from manageable). Some things I tried were ordering waterproof training underwear to replace diapers, talking about the potty with my son, casually recommending that he use the potty, setting my son on the potty at regular intervals to try to talk him into going pee on the potty, and so on. These efforts lasted about 24 hours and I knew there was no way I was doing this correctly. When I asked for advice from family members who raised boys, I got responses like "Just put some cheerios in the toilet to make it fun," which, although it came from a place of love, was not very helpful advice. 

In a moment of desperate Googling, I remembered that I signed up for the Transforming Toddlerhood Conference, and there was a session about potty training that I hadn't listened to yet! I stopped everything and found that conference session. It was the best 45 minutes I spent related to potty training. This session introduced me to Oh Crap! Potty Training and the notion that someone else out there believes that potty training is a level playing field for boys and girls (FINALLY!!). My next step was buying the Oh Crap! Potty Training book on Audible. The world started to make sense, and I quickly realized that I used the word "never" far too often leading up to this milestone in my son's life. Before I knew it, I was spending a day watching my son like a hawk while he ran around naked (which I swore I would never do), in order to do some data collection of his potty habits. And shortly after, I was redacting another "never" and took on nighttime training at the same time as daytime potty training. And here we are: one month without diapers, two accident-free flights, and an accident-free wedding under our belts! Honestly, if you would've told me we would come this far this fast, I would've looked right at you and dropped another "never". 

Here's What I Learned

1. I learned about how my son learns. After all, peeing and pooping on the toilet is a learned behavior, not an instinct. It's fun to see the information click. My son gets an intense look of focus when he's processing a new piece of information that he perceives as valuable. He learns best when he has determined that he wants to learn the skill, so I'd like to think that no one is going to push him around in life. 

2.  My child, although happy to see me in the morning, is not a morning person. If there is going to be a battle that day, it will be in the morning within the first hour of waking up. He learns best in the afternoon, after his nap. 

3. My child is an empath. He gets so angry he could be red in the face but then is incredibly quick to apologize without prompting. He feels genuine remorse for his actions when he is disrespectful or hurts someone. He also takes a lot of pride in his personal accomplishments.

4. We started potty training too late. If I could go back in time, I would not have waited until a window of convenience arrived, or until my son turned the "magical" age of two. I would've put my son first and trained him during the first sign of being capable of tackling this new skill.

5. I learned that simple, direct, consistent language is best to use during potty training. Use the same words on repeat: Bathroom, Toilet, Pee, Poop. Be very literal, remove all of the fluff.

6. Never say never. About a month before this journey started, I firmly believed that I would not let my son run around the house naked to potty train him and that I would not buy a mini toilet for him to use. Guess what, I changed my mind, and it's the best thing I could've done. My son being naked for the day meant that I had the opportunity to gather valuable information about his habits and trends that I was unable see when he was clothed. Buying a mini toilet for him to use created an opportunity to be independent, which he takes great pride in. 

7. Expect success. The most important things are to listen to your child and believe in your child. If someone is rude or undermines your child's ability or success, shut it down immediately and stand up for your kiddo! Remember that you know your child better than anyone else does!

Our Timeline

We officially started our potty training journey with no intent of turning back on July 17, 2024, seven days after my son turned two. If you choose to use the Oh Crap! method, you'll find that your goal is to build a "stable tower" of milestone-based "blocks". From a 10,000-foot view, here are those bocks: pee and poop on toilet with or without prompting while naked, pee and poop on toilet with or without prompting while commando, outings while commando, add in underwear.

Day 0 (Monday): Underwear delivered and washed, I struggled with applying to various ideas I read about and quickly pivoted to the "Oh Crap! Potty Training" Method 

Day 1 (Tuesday): A lot of screaming and crying about this new idea. This was our naked day for gathering data.

Day 2 (Wednesday): a lot of screaming and anger, naked half the day to finish gathering data, moved on to commando after lunch.

Day 3 (Thursday): Our toddler-size toilet was delivered. 

Day 5 (Friday): Our first public outing, there was a poop accident on the way to the bathroom (the need to poop was communicated by my son, but we couldn't find the bathroom fast enough) but he finished on the toilet (BIG WIN!). 

Day 6 (Saturday): First dry night! (He's been dry every night since then when on a normal sleep schedule).

Day 7-14: No accidents while commando, doing an incredible job!

Day 15: Successful flight from Seattle to Milwaukee, used plane bathroom confidently, no accidents.

Day 17: Successful family wedding, no accidents. 

Day 18-25: Crazy schedule of family things, less sleep than usual, only one nighttime accident, and only one daytime accident (We consider this a BIG WIN!).

Day 26: Very early flight, one poop accident because we didn't listen to the initial prompt that he provided and he changed his answer when we asked to confirm because he was so tired. (A good reminder to listen to my gut). We cleaned up poop accident in plane bathroom with boogie wipes (I don't go anywhere without those!).

Days 27-33: Back to a normal routine at home, commando, noticing increased self-prompting.

Day 34: Introducing underwear.

Must-Have Items For Leaving the House When Potty Training

1. Summer travel potty seat or similar

2. Silicone removable insert for the potty seat

3. Boogie wipes

4. Clorox Wipes

5. Hand sanitizer

6. Dry bag or ziplock bag

7. Extra outfit for your kiddo

Check out my list of potty training essentials to help make potty training a success!

You've got this, Mama!